the blue muse

When I was sixteen and my first boyfriend broke my heart, my mom told me there were more fish in the sea, and I didn’t believe her.

When I was ten and my mom told me to eat my vegetables because they were good for me, I might have believed her, but I still wouldn’t eat my cauliflower.

When I was seven and I forgot to change my underwear one morning, my mom brought a clean pair to my classroom, in a paper bag. And I couldn’t believe she did that.

When I was twenty four and about to give birth to my son, my mom told me all kinds of things about being a mother, what it would mean, how difficult it is, how fascinating and amazing and life altering and wonderful it would be. I listened, I believed, but I could not comprehend.

And now my son is twenty-four and I look at him and I can’t believe I had him when I was that same age, he seems so very young.

And when he was sixteen and a girl broke his heart, I told him the same thing, about all those fish, and he didn’t believe me, either.

And he never ate his vegetables when he was a kid. But now he likes more vegetables than I do.

And when he was seven, I made him eat tofu because I was a vegetarian. And he still can’t believe I did that.

And, today, I realize that my mom was right, about all of it. It is hard and life-altering and wonderful and amazing and fascinating and sometimes heart-breaking, but mostly heart-expanding. And it isn’t a job, being a mother. It’s who you are.

And when someone tells you to cherish the moments you have with your children when they are little, to worry less about the housework and the errands, and more about enjoying those wonderful, beautiful, oh so precious moments because they grow up so very fast…

Believe it.