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gray {temporarily}
what do you do when you wake up and
the world is gray and there seems no chance of sunshine?
what do you do when the list before you stretches longer than your arms?
what do you do when all you really want is to curl up on the couch and read?
what do you do when you are running behind before the day even begins?
what do you do when the colors of fall are hidden in shrouds of mist?
what do you do when your brain feels as scattered as the raindrops?
what do you do when sadness rolls in on waves of fog?
what do you do when you’d rather be writing?
what do you do when everything around you
needs to be cleaned, cared for, put away?
do I have the answers to these questions?
i do not.
i simply have the questions, rolling off my fingers faster than i can type.
dancing around in my hand in a slow, whispy dance, and mocking me
on this day when gray is the color of more than sky.
but these questions are a gift.
or at least, today, i will choose to look at them that way.
i am not afraid of sadness, or blue, or gray, or wistful.
i am not afraid to stand here, in the rain, and wait for the sun.
i am not afraid of fog and mist and lack of focus.
i am not afraid of time that marches on, with me or without me.
i am not afraid of words or metaphors or crazy ideas.
i am not afraid to dust myself off, clear my mind, begin again.
i am not afraid of the blank slate that lies before me every morning,
even when its emptiness intimidates.
i am only afraid
of numbness.
::
for you. yes, you.
Comments
wow what a perfect read for a day like today (gloomy & raining) another beautiful post and an equally beautiful image. “I’m only afraid of numbness” brilliant ♥
Posted by: ivyallover | September 30th, 2010 08:27
🙂 This is beautiful.
And sometimes, I like the rain – especially when I am nestled in home alone. I feel safe. I can hide behind the raindrops.
Posted by: Tracy | September 30th, 2010 09:34
Your feelings flow so beautifully from your heart – regardless of their colour.
I have learned, over time (much time), that when ‘I am not afraid’ shifts to ‘I am willing to accept’ ~ numbness is not possible, the body’s too focussed on preparing for the next Something Beautiful.
Gray is often a lovely transition from dark to light; the place where stillness speaks, for those who listen.
Posted by: Sally G. | September 30th, 2010 09:53
Wow, what an amazing post. You write so beautifully.
Posted by: Kathryn | September 30th, 2010 10:10
can totally relate!
Posted by: Jillsy | September 30th, 2010 13:34
I definitely needed this today. So many gray and rainy days in the Inland Northwest lately, and so many things I’m trying to do at once. Thank you.
Posted by: Amy | September 30th, 2010 14:52
you have written so beautifully the questions that so many times do not have answers .. gray days make sunshine even more golden when it arrives…
Posted by: elk | September 30th, 2010 14:59
What a beautiful piece of writing an wonderful way of looking at life and using a grey mood day to create such a piece of work.
Posted by: Moira | September 30th, 2010 16:00
Your words are like petals stripped from a flower. Each one more poignant than the last. The photo is gorgeous! Fits the words so well.
Brenda
Posted by: Brenda Kula | September 30th, 2010 16:26
gray is good. next to purple, it looks good with every skin tone. and there’s lots of room in gray – room to question without ever finding answers. room to get lost, to take up space. yeah, gray is, for me, the color of possibility, the color in which these delicious questions take root.
Posted by: wholly jeanne | September 30th, 2010 18:43
It’s not gloomy here today, but I very well know those gray days. They can be really depressing. I love how you get away from the negative. Such a beautiful post.
Posted by: Carola | September 30th, 2010 23:03
[…] I wrote about that grayness, over at the blue muse, wrote about questions with no answers, and all the things I’m not afraid of, and the one […]
Posted by: gray is my favorite color… | that's mrs. mediocrity to you | October 1st, 2010 06:52
I sometimes crave those gray days. The chance to just curl up with myself and be quiet. No need to put on a face for the rest of the world, a chance to just be me at my most basic. It gives me the chance to regroup so I can tackle the world again tomorrow.
Posted by: Jamie | October 1st, 2010 20:47
So powerful!! Personally – I love the grey days..the introspective ones..the ones when there’s nowhere other to be than inside yourself. Thank-you for these words. And – the sun is definitely shining brightly today!!!
Posted by: Marcie | October 2nd, 2010 15:27
numbness is the worst. thank you for reminding me. this is incredible. love, love!
Posted by: Debi | October 24th, 2010 11:00